You’re nothing to me now. You’re not a brother, you’re not a friend. I don’t want to know you or what you do.

You’re dead to me, Fredo.

Blood is thicker than water.

How many times have you heard that cliché? How true is it though?

There’s no doubt that some family ties are tight but I think there’s far too much of an onus put on the blood relation aspect. Lord knows I have blood relatives all over the US that I haven’t even met much less spoken to. Should my loyalty, love and/or devotion be more to them then friends who have been with me through the good times and bad?

I’m not a guy who uses the term “friend” lightly. In fact I can probably count the number of real friends I have on one hand. Some of them I’d quite literally take a bullet for (and on a few occasions could very well have). I don’t like what the term “blood is thicker than water” insinuates. On the surface it just reads as though you should always put your blood before your friends but is that truly something to live by? We’ve all had a family member scorn us in some way and it stings more than anything an enemy can do. Isn’t it blood that ends up hurting us the most in the end?

Even that word family poses a contradiction to that cliché? Unless you’re from some backwater land where brothers and sisters bed & wed one another, your parents aren’t blood to one another. Neither were either of their parents or their parents. Your wife or husband isn’t blood to you. An adopted child is not your blood. Does that mean you should love them any less or that you’re to choose some distant, unknown, never spoken to great-cousin over your own wife, husband or child if (knock on wood) some inconceivably harsh situation called for it?

I think not.

I like to look at that adage in a bit more abstract way. Blood can be defined as anyone who has earned that level of trust and respect to be considered a part of you – a part of your ideals and understanding. I put everyone on the same level playing field and let them determine whether they will be a superstar. That’s why I don’t consider myself truly hypocritical for deeming everyone idiots until proven intelligent because I give everyone a fair shake. I’ll never just give unquestionable respect to anyone and that’s the way it should always be. Too many people feel this unearned sense of entitlement just because they’re a blood relative and it’s just uncalled for. People should be judged individually based on what you have done for them and vice versa. I know it sounds like common knowledge but unfortunately it’s far from that apparently. We cling to blood ties with blind devotion sometimes and end up killing ourselves from the inside every time we’re hurt by them.

Sit back and evaluate who means most to you. Who has been there for you. Who you’ve been there for. Who you can unequivocally trust. Who you make legitimately happy and truly makes you happy.

Your real family might be bigger (or smaller) than you think.


3 responses

  1. Mud is thicker than blood

    Mud is thicker than blood. And generally you wear mud dripping down your face from flinging it at one another. Perhaps approach a situation not as a battle but with at least an attempt to find out where the other person is coming from. Now blood is thicker than water but don’t get hung out left to dry. Most people can suck it up and know when to say enough is enough with family yet some people may unknowingly be separating themselves from a good relationship with someone because someone is an idiot. Judge not lest ye be judged I guess doesn’t apply.

    October 23, 2010 at 8:44 pm

  2. Timely.

    I’m a little concerned that one of the possibly related posts generated for this blog is entitled “Edward, Twilight, Chapter 9, Page 186”. Ugh!

    September 7, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    • Yeah… that’s scary.

      But on a side note this is actually a topic I’ve long been mulling around. Recent events only brought it back to the surface.

      September 7, 2010 at 3:08 pm

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