Who’d want to be my friend? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me.


As part of the Hippie Cahier Algonquin Experiment we were asked to write a little bit about the magnificent search terms used by people to find your blog. In my particular case I don’t have many searches at all. Those who find my blog usually unknowingly come wandering in from other blogs I’ve posted on. I mean why not, right? You see a creepy little hand on a keyboard and the name The Zen Assassin how can you not take a peek?

I equate my blog to an exotic dish – tasty and treasured by some but otherwise disgusting and uninteresting to most. My writing style – if you can call it a style – can be summed up as psychotic pessimistic paranoid schizophrenic cynicism. Wait a minute. That’s not a style. That’s just random technical terms all mashed together. Bah… regardless my writing has all those elements in it which makes my work a hard read at times. When my top two searches happen to be “you probably don’t think i’m a very nice guy” and “mcdonalds zesty mcmini commerical” you can get an idea of how random my thoughts can be. One was a post about my favorite movie badasses and the other was a rant about how racist McDonald’s is. That’s the reason why my blog is titled “The $#&! I Think About” because frankly that’s all it is. I tend to think that those who search and find this diatribe of ramblings came here by accident. It’s no secret that my blog titles are movie quotes. I even try to relate the movie I’m quoting from to the subject matter which makes naming my entries more of a task than actually writing them. Unfortunately this throws people off most of the time. They’re expecting one thing and end up reading about something completely different.

I’m not a complicated guy… just very muddled. They say geniuses keep very cluttered and unorganized work spaces. My workspace is my brain so what’s that say about me? Sociopath? Megalomaniac perhaps? Have no fear ladies and gentlemen. I just draw and write. I’m a geek and everyone knows geeks aren’t dangerous, right?  If only more people had a creative outlet perhaps we wouldn’t have so many pissed off chaps in the world. I’m living proof that you can be morbidly pessimistic and still be a productive member of society.  I’d be more concerned about the people who actually read my blog. I have a tiny but loyal following of people who keep pace with my twisted mind and actually enjoy what I ramble about.

Isn’t that how cults are started?

No worries though. There’s no Kool Aid here… just Pepsi.

From cats to the apocalypse, nothing is really out of my range of thought. What were people thinking when they searched? Probably the same shit I think about. We’re more alike than you’d ever care to admit. Scary, huh?

Till next time people.

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10 responses

  1. You know, I thought about this post tonight. I read the FP when I logged in, and there was a Californian that came to Louisiana and posted a gumbo recipe. She was the FP. A Californian on a trip to LA making gumbo. Not to mention, she had to get the recipe from a native. And her finished product? Looked NOTHING like real Louisiana gumbo. I was born and raised here, and it’s pretty pathetic to see the posers post recipes like this, much less use someone else’s recipe, and fail miserably. If you going to post it, don’t insult the native area you’re perpetuating to excel in.

    /end rant

    (sorry I’ve been swamped and a total afk pain in the rear but am catching up on all your posts, and for your love I added quiche cupcakes)

    November 8, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    • Vent away, my good lady. That’s what I’m here for. I figure I do so much ranting myself that the least I could do is entertain others when they need to get something off their chest. I’ve positively given up on FP. I actually have no need for it anymore. I’ve accumulated a nice array of blogs that I follow regularly so unless it’s something that really catches my eye, I just ignore it. I know it’s hard to do though… especially when someone is defiling traditional recipes. I’ve got relatives in the south and I know you guys take your cooking as serious as a heart attack so I can definitely feel your anger.

      November 9, 2010 at 10:15 am

  2. I actually don’t remember where I found you but it wasn’t a search either, and I seem to be sucked in. I like it here … what does that say about me?

    October 14, 2010 at 4:27 pm

  3. You hid the content well and lured me in with food! I check the main recipe page often and saw your latest post. I used to post photographs and ramblings, but lately the cooking seems to have taken my blog hostage. Reading some of your posts reminds me how much I enjoyed it. Maybe I’ll get back to it.

    October 14, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    • I’m glad I’ve inspired you. It makes me feel all googly inside. I’ll have to pop by and pay a visit to your blog and have a peek. I love a fellow friend of the fork.

      October 14, 2010 at 12:59 pm

  4. I think checking out new blogs from comments is the best way to find blogs.

    Searching usually means I’m looking for something specific, and I’ll probably never visit that blog again.

    When I click on someone’s comment, I like what they said, and will probably be into their blog and will come back again and again to read.

    October 14, 2010 at 11:16 am

    • My thoughts exactly. I’ve found quite an array of blogs that I regularly check in on now thanks to doing that. *wink wink nudge nudge*

      October 14, 2010 at 11:25 am

  5. I think you’re a nice guy, Ian…

    Wendy
    One of your slightly twisted followers

    October 14, 2010 at 7:41 am

    • Thank you Wendy. It feels good to be appreciated. 😀

      October 14, 2010 at 9:40 am

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