Thought Nugget – Weight Not, Want Not


It’s mind-boggling the things you ponder when your brain is tired. Having woken up at or before 5am for the second consecutive day now I’m starting to feel the effects of lack of sleep. I’ve probably spent maybe 8 of the past 48hrs in actual shutdown sleep mode. It’d be nice to rattle off a nice 10 spot uninterrupted but that’s not likely to happen anytime soon.

Anyways, in my stupor I’ve decided to dazzle my faithful readers with some eclectic knowledge straight from the mind of an Upper Tier Professional Dumbass. I had just gotten out the shower and was admiring my treasure troll gut. I rubbed it twice and made a wish but nothing happened… at least not what I wanted. Instead I was hit with a revelation.

You can never lose weight.

That’s right. I said it and before you pummel me with tales of dress or pant sizes you’ve gone down let me clarify my statement. The following is legitimate FBT scientific knowledge I’m disclosing to you. What is FBT? In the simplest terms they’re Facts I Believe are True and can not be disputed because I, in fact, believe they are true. Spacial Physics teaches us that all mass in the universe is consistent. There’s never subtraction or addition to the mass that derived from the Big Bang. There is a delicate balance between the amount of mass that is sustainable for this plane of existence and a devastating quantum singularity. That’s why when a star dies another is created or when mass exceeds its limit a black hole sucks up the excess until balance is achieved once again.

…hehe… black hole. That’s perverted…

Anyway, with weight it’s perceived that you gain or lose mass but truthishly this is a false assessment. What is actually happening is weight is transferring. Have you ever noticed that when you have a family member or close friend tell you they’ve lost some weight oddly enough you gain a couple of pounds or vice versa? The perceived “lost weight” is merely distributed amongst the collective. I have yet to formulate how the electro-chemical bond between individuals effects this distribution, especially between those who have been around one another for long periods of time, but as soon as I make it u– figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.

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6 responses

  1. Still love that video after all this time 🙂

    May 2, 2011 at 12:45 pm

  2. Do you think I live far enough away from you to be safe? I’m currently exceeding my maximum capacity…

    Wendy

    May 2, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    • No one is safe. Not even my cat who is the size of a medium size dog now. 😀

      May 2, 2011 at 1:59 pm

  3. Amy

    This actually makes amazing amounts of sense. Even for someone who is fairly well rested.

    April 30, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    • I do my most lucid thinking when I’m up for a few days. 😀

      May 2, 2011 at 1:23 pm

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