The UnimPRESSED Award

The following is a paid advertisement

Feeling unappreciated?

Feeling a little unfresh?

Do you feel like you’re underperforming?

Show the world you are worthwhile with your very own


It has bling!


Proudly display it…

… on your BLOG …

… at WORK …

… at the GYM …

… on a DATE …

… or in the BEDROOM …

… the possibilities are ENDLESS!

Let the world know that you’re unimPRESSED but it’s okay because you rock anyway!


What’s the best part about the unimPRESSED Award??

It’s absolutely FREE!


Don’t be the odd man out and join the ranks of the forgotten blogging elite.
Who cares about being Freshly Pressed.

You should be Freshly unimPressed!!

The following rules and terms are applicable to all parties choosing to display the FRESHLY unimPRESSED Award on their blog. This award is for WordPress bloggers and blog owners only. It is free  to download and display provided the intended blog or author meets the following requirements:

  • You must display it either in post or on the blog prominently.
  • You must contact the award creator (me) at zenassassins[at]gmail[dot]com and let me know the name of your blog so that it can be added to the super cool Freshly unimPressed archive that will be displayed on this blog.
  • If you have ever had a post on your blog Freshly Pressed you may NOT display this banner at all for any reason. Sorry Charlie. You had your time in the limelight. Let us have ours in the shadows.
  • If you ever, by the luck of gods, become Freshly Pressed after displaying this award you must immediately surrender the it, remove it from your blog and issue it to another deserving blogger of your choosing who hasn’t been Freshly pressed.

Failure to abide by any or all of the above mentioned terms will result in public humiliation by being pelted with orange peels and banana skins by an angry mob of unemployed little people from Scandinavia. You will then be left in a room with a monkey, a wok and a stick of butter for no less than 6 hours. After which you will be forced to recite the Canadian national anthem backwards while having your privates immersed in icy water.

The preceding was a paid advertisement and does not necessarily express the views or opinions of The $#!% I Think About blog, Zen Assassins, or any of its affiliates. Paid for by the Society for the Unbiased Treatment of Bloggers.

14 responses

  1. Shoot…I can’t have it either…sigh…


    June 17, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    • Don’t worry, Wendy. I’ll cook up a Superfriends of Blogging Goodness award at some point in time for a select few people. *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

      June 18, 2011 at 10:29 am

  2. Love it! I’m totally unimPRESSED! I shall wear it proudly!

    June 15, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    • Spread the word and unimPRESS as many rePRESSED bloggers as you can. 😀

      June 16, 2011 at 10:59 am

  3. hissimplelook

    Very funny. Kudos to you.

    June 12, 2011 at 3:34 pm

  4. Oh this is PERFECT!! A badge for the rest of us, I shall wear it with honour sir.

    June 12, 2011 at 10:10 am

  5. I’m certainly intrigued by the idea of taking my blogging awards with me to the gym or work.

    June 11, 2011 at 10:23 pm

  6. Finally! An award for the rest of us!

    Is there a way to be depressed in order to display this? You know…for someone like Amy? 😉

    June 11, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    • Amy

      Ha! Depressed or de-pressed? How about not-so-freshly pressed? Rottenly pressed?
      That’s okay. The Patient Zero award is all the bling I need anyway. 🙂

      June 11, 2011 at 3:15 pm

  7. Amy

    Aw, I love bling! But, I was once one of the chosen few, so I can not in good faith display your magnificent banner on my blog.

    June 11, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    • I had to make it all super special fancy to compete with all of you Pressers. ;p

      June 11, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s