We have top men working on it now

I’ve been a bit off my game the past few days due to some personal issues so I figured I would ride a blogging buddy’s coattails and ease my way back into carefree writing. Amy is a nut. Not a watch your children or that’s my man kinda nut. A good nut. Like a Macadamia or cashew. She’s also incredibly witty. She wrote two of the funniest posts I’ve ever come across. The brilliant part about these posts is that it was the world itself that supplied the punchlines.

That’s the beauty of Google.

Back when she did her first This is not the blog you’re looking for post I nearly passed out from laugh so much at the absurdity of some of the search terms that lead people to her blog. I was but a blogging babe at the time and had virtually no one visiting my blog, accidentally or intentionally. Flash forward several months and Amy debuts her side-splitting followup sequel appropriately titled This is not the blog you’re looking for part 2: the wrath of google . Once again pure hilarity. It was mind-boggling how utterly out there some of the queries were. It prompted me to check mine to see if this bewildering phenomenon was happening to me as well.  I keep an unwavering eye on all my daily search terms. There’s no possible way any slipped by…

… or did they?

nude women bondage “prison island”
Fuck yeah! Why haven’t I written about, drawn or seen this??

Source: LabelNetworks

post apocalyptic fashion design
You think the world isn’t preparing? At least if this whole web design thing doesn’t pan out I have another career option to fall back on.

biggest sword in the world
Probably the best compliment EVER.

fucking ugly bitches
Why?  Aren’t hot chicks so much easier on the eyes?

larping bondage
Not even if I was drunk as a skunk, smoked several joints and high on acid.

sarth vader fuck leia
It’s a new scene Big George plans to add in the next anniversary edition where Vader’s long lost mentally challenged brother is CGI’d into Jabba’s brothel and has sex scene with Leia. Wait for it people. It’s coming.

what did kurtwood smith look like when he was younger
More hair?

awesome hot larp chicks
There is absolutely nothing true about any of this.

i am unintelligent
The first step is admitiing it.

19 never had any friends
The easy solution would be to gather those 19 and put them in a pen together and viola – they’d have friends. Simple. Or is it that you’re 19 and have no friends? If that’s the case then that’s just sad. Amusing but sad.

graphic designers working on themes of alcohol
Hell yeah. Another career choice. Who’d have thunk there was a market for such a thing.

i hope mcdonalds dies

should i get disappointed with my dogs?
Uhm… maybe?

food that die
… tonight at 11 following your local weather.

procrastination incorporated
Tired of doing stuff? The world is filled with amazing things you could be doing right now instead of what you’re supposed to be doing. Here at Procrastiation Incorporated we supply you with the tools to succeed in avoiding the task at hand. For more information please visit our website. Unfortunately it is still under construction so check back soon.

have you ever wondered, should there be a ?
WHAT?? I’m intrigued now.

мачете със стивън сегал
Apparently my awesomeness spans international borders.


12 responses

  1. Betty

    Oh, dear lord, I love these posts about search terms. I wrote about this a couple of weeks ago and my favorite search term that I can’t duplicate or figure out how it delivered someone to me was: “ass parade and the boys would tap my butt” I mean, what the fuck?

    June 23, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    • BWAHAHA. That’s pretty proceless right there. I pray that was the search engine pulling one word from like 9 different posts. Course this means you’ve open your blog to a whole new audience without even trying. Ahhh Google. It’s a daily adventure. 😀

      June 24, 2011 at 8:00 am

  2. This is me, going to Google to find out what larp is.

    Ok, I’m back. I’m thinking this is not something any chicks do, ever.

    June 18, 2011 at 12:06 am

    • Sadly, there are quite a high number of girls who are involved with it. Course many of them dance that fine line bewteen larping and cosplay – which is a whole other genre of “interesting people” I won’t even get into right now. ;p

      June 18, 2011 at 10:31 am

    • Don’t feel bad, Oma…I had to Google “larp” too…those young ‘uns are getting some mighty funny ideas…

      Your search terms are way more interesting than mine, Ian!


      June 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm

      • Ha! I’m a super geek and had to look the term up many years ago because I had no idea. It’s an interetsing sub culture. If you’re really bored, look up “cosplay”. XD

        June 27, 2011 at 8:07 am

      • I actually knew what cosplay was…I used to work with a girl who was into that stuff.


        June 27, 2011 at 8:16 am

      • Oh my. You must have stories then. Do share. 😀

        June 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

  3. Amy

    Feel free to ride my blogging coat-tails any time. Especially if the result is as hilarious as this!

    “larping bondage” – sooo much wrong with that!

    it was the world itself that supplied the punchlines – so true!

    Thanks, as always, for the shout-out! You’re the awesomest!

    June 17, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    • And thank you for putting me on to how amusing the Google world can be. 😀

      June 18, 2011 at 10:28 am

  4. Oh man…I really need to stop reading your posts at work. People think that the incessant giggling is the sign of mental issues, I’m sure of it! That being said…’sarth vader’, Kirtwood Smith, awesome hot larp chicks and that last question before the Russian (?) stuff have made me pee my pants. I have to come upstairs and change my pants now because of this. Awesome.

    June 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    • I know I have over 1000 tag words but geez… I’m quite certain I have yet to use the word bondage yet. ;p

      June 18, 2011 at 10:27 am

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