Posts tagged “wastelands

I live for this s***!


So suddenly it’s all cool to like the apocalypse now, huh? It’s all hip and trendy. It’s the bee’s knees. It made its way around the globe and became a social media wildfire topic for the past 2 weeks.

Gimme a break.

I’ve been talking about this shit since I started blogging and now just because some deranged old cleric, who should have drunk the Kool Aid, decides he wants some attention he becomes a world-wide phenomenon (even though he was catastrophically wrong)? Sure, I had fun with it as well. I even joined in the Post Rapture Looting event on Facebook for a laugh but after the dust settles all of the bandwagon jumpers will go back to the things most important to them – porn, iPads and Jersey Shore. Thankfully this isn’t a trend that’ll last (or at least I won’t have to hear about again until next year) and I can go back to my (ab)normal love for the subject matter.

To the 5000 who have graced the hallowed halls of this twisted blog (and continue to do so) you’re okay in my book. When Ragnarök does go down rest assured I’ll make sure you all live well in my kingdom.

As for the rest of the world, thanks for once again sensationalizing something that really didn’t need to be sensationalized. Thank you for making me not want to write about my favorite topic until it becomes unpopular again. I have a long memory. You won’t be the lucky ones in the wastelands. Forget raiders and highwaymen – you’d better worry about my legion of followers.  To you douches who ruined a fun topic I have but one message for you:

All you motherf***ers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We’re gonna f*** your mothers while you watch and cry like little b****es. Once we find the old f*** that made the prophecy, we’re gonna make him eat our s***, then s*** out our s***, then eat  his s*** which is made up of our s*** that we made him eat. Then you’re all you motherf***s are next.

If anyone (aside from my wife) can figure out where I borrowed most of that closing rant from I’ll make you a General in my dystopian kingdom. ;p

Peace out and enjoy the rest of your long Rapture-free weekend folks!

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